Thursday, October 29, 2009
Except that there was something that I needed - the lemonade for Em's sore throat. So, as I drove through town debating the problem, McD's came into view. Woohoo, I was saved!! I could drive through and get lemonade without leaving the van!!
Now, obviously by this point I was delusional and not in my right mind. Just driving by a McD's without stopping would have generated more gnashing of teeth, but to actually get into the drivethrough line and wait to order something that was NOT a Happy Meal... Yep, it set J off into one of the most energetic, voluminous, imaginative tantrums he's ever thrown. Thrown is an appropriate description too. He wailed, he flung his body around in his booster seat, tears flowed. Out of habit, I rolled down the window as I came around the curve to the order speaker, but there was another minivan already there. I quickly rolled up the window, but we still heard her ordering her Happy Meals (2 boys and a girl). I could tell that she heard the commotion, because she paused and looked back for a second mid-order. She finished and pulled forward and I was forced to roll down the window to place my order for a single large lemonade. J hit the peak of his fit as I pulled forward when he realized I really wasn't ordering any Happy Meals. I met her glance in her side mirror and just smiled and she smiled knowingly back. Now, I've been the other mom before, so I know what she was thinking. Her kids probably got extra hugs last night thanks to J. J did too.
SPY is in his own kind of trouble today. SE decided to take his guitar to school with him today. It's been sitting in the living room on its stand for months. As he picked it up, it made a strange rattling noise. Not a little rattling noise. He emptied it out onto the floor.
The pile contained:
about 5 Q-tips
2 rocks - one small, one I'm not sure how SPY got it in past the strings
about 25 Cheerios
8 crayons (a whole pack)
a comb - the kind with the long tail
a 5x7 piece of notebook paper
2 animal crackers
and a proof of insurance card.
ETA after I finished picking junk up off the floor:
An Article of Faith pass along card
a scrap of orange construction paper
a used band-aid
and the tie end of a popped balloon.
I'm kind of surprised that it rattled at all when he shook it.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Hmm. I have no idea where I was going with this. It was dated 8 months ago. I guess it's a fill-in-the-blank now.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
I didn't even cry until today when he went to leave for work. I thought that I was going to be driving him to work, because of the painkillers and all, but he decided he could make it to work, take one there, and it would wear off by the time he was ready to go home.
ETA: I should probably have led with he's fine, but sore, and everyone else involved is fine.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
And what would I have done with this degree? Probably the same thing I did with no degree - had kids and worked mostly part-time in various retail and clerical and childcare and healthcare type jobs.
The moral of the story is NOT don't go to college right out of high school. It's that sometimes things happen for a reason. I wouldn't say EVERYTHING happens for a reason and I'm pretty sure that hearing crap like that wouldn't have mattered a bit to my 16-year-old self who was pretty ticked that we moved in the middle of Junior year, but I think I'll let go of that not-going-to-college-sooner regret. It's not doing me any good anyway.
Hopefully if/when we decide to move (it's planned, but not decided, if that makes sense), my daughter, who is already pretty ticked about the idea and it's still 3 years off, will someday forgive us when she meets her soulmate/figures out it was the right thing to do/lives happily ever after. Of course, I really hope that she will be pleasantly surprised and delighted by our new home, but if not, then someday forgiving will have to do.
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Some of the houses were the same or similar to the real street:
The house where her cousin lived looked literally just like this. I don't know the address of this house and it's been 20 years almost, but given the placement of the mountain behind, this could be the very house, or the next street over. I think. My house and my friend's house also looked just like this (except hers was floor-plan flipped) - for reals and in the dream. This one is for sale; I should buy it. I love these houses. Does that look like a 6 bedroom house? But it is.
Basements, I love them.
but some were a totally different style, kind of like my grandma's house:
This isn't my grandma's house, but it is probably 2 houses down the street from her house (also for sale and surprisingly in the same price range as the above house - um, surprising because this house is in Washington state, home of sky high real estate). I'm not buying this house. Love my grandparents, but they don't even want to live in this neighborhood anymore. Plus, this house does NOT have 6 bedrooms (it does have 4 - attic!!, but if it is really like my grandparents', then the bedrooms are tiny).
Anyway, I walked down to my friend's house that night to watch her kids for a bit while she went across the street to her cousin's house to see her new baby (a boy - it was her first). My friend's husband got home before she left and took over the kid duty and so I went over with her. Her mom was over there already. We helped clean up her kitchen while mom held the baby, then we all kind of crashed in the living room and I got to hold the baby while her cousin slept and I think my friend went home to take care of the kids and her mom stayed on the couch and we talked/dozed. I remember telling her cousin that she could call me any time, even in the middle of the night, to come help with the baby, etc. The baby was so cute and sweet.
So, this dream apparently manifests both my desires to live on a street with sidewalks (desperate desire) and to hold babies. My life is completely devoid of babies right now. I don't want my own (REALLY), but I would like to be near some. This is probably brought on by the birth of my niece almost a week ago and several friends posting new baby pictures this week.
Hey, if we did buy the house by grandma's, I could hold my niece at least. On the other hand, I hear there are babies here and there in Utah too.
(ETA: While I was editing this, the price of the first house dropped $19,000. I couldn't find it when I went back to look at it again.)
Friday, August 28, 2009
No money for a new backpack - except financial aid money, but it's not yet released to me, just in my account. So I head over to the college bookstore and pick her up a really nice backpack - padded shoulder straps, adjustable compartments, etc. (ok, it was the only one left without wheels) for $50 - way more than I would really like to spend, but I don't want her to keep hurting her shoulders and spending money on financial aid is like spending money on a credit card. it's not quite real/in your hand yet, so it's easy to spend.
Oh, and the backpack is black with mustard yellow and grey accents.
She hated it and it was too long for her. But she let the office lady take off and throw away the tags before she read my note inside saying DON'T TAKE OFF THE TAGS UNLESS YOU'RE GOING TO KEEP IT - oh and there was a note on the outside telling her to read the note inside as soon as she got it.
On Wednesday, I took it back anyway. And got really lucky that they made an exception (mostly because it was the only one left and he still had people coming in to register who could also be suckered in to buying a $50 backpack on financial aid).
HAPPY - except her shoulders still hurt.
Went to Goodwill today. Our Goodwill SUCKS. Seriously sucks. Except when it doesn't, like today.
A PINK and black SWISS ARMY Airflow backpack (looked it up, one with the same features but this year's model, retails for $80), mostly clean (all clean now thanks to Shout, baking powder, bleach, and laundry detergent), a little smaller, did I mention it was PINK!!
And, oh yeah, for $4.99.
95% off retail.
If she doesn't like it...
Well, then I'll sell it on ebay I guess, there's one exactly like it but red listed right now for $60. Or use it myself. It's so awesome, laptop ready and everything. Not that I haul books or laptops anywhere, but if I needed to, I definitely could, in style.
They also had a clean and perfect love seat for $25 that I wanted so badly for our living room, but it was sold. It must have been an employee because it was marked sold today and I was there 5 minutes after they opened.
Resume lameness of Goodwill.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Friday, May 29, 2009
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Monday, May 11, 2009
Ohm. Can you see it? Four are trying to meditate and one just along for the ride.
2. Parallel parking. Yep, I missed it on my first driving test. But since then I have come to love it and love that I can do it - in pretty much any vehicle.3. Pandora.
4. Penelope Marie. My favorite aunt. Not only is she awesome, she once saved me from doing something really, really dumb. At least once. Soooo very dumb.
5. Pantry. Look, I have one now.
8. Popsicles. Mmmmm, banana popsicles.
9. Pajama pants. I wear them pretty much every day that I don't have to go out of the house. I used to steal my husband's all the time, but he got pretty sick of that and recently bought me about a half dozen of my own in pretty girly prints. I've switched to wearing his t-shirts, hoping he'll start bringing me home girly t-shirts too. It used to work with soda too - when I was drinking the DC (I'm clean now, on the wagon, zzzzz, can't you tell?). If I ran out and start drinking his Mr. Pibb - not only did we know I was desperate, but DC would magically appear without me even having to drag the boys to the store. Alas, we are both now caffeine-free, so we'll have to use clothing to show our love. Or at least his love to me :-) I have other ways. No, not that. sheesh.
10. Penney's. I wouldn't call it cool or hip, but I definitely wouldn't call me cool or hip, so ya know. They had some sweet sales this weekend for Mother's Day and we did some shopping. I like that they tell me how much I save. We spent $110 and saved over $200. Rock on.
For good measure, some P's I do not like: Potty training, pee, philandering, paranoia, pagodas, pandemonium (although the word pandemonium is kind of yummy), Plankton, politics, partitions, pregnancy, Pitocin, and puppies. Phew!!
Monday, April 20, 2009
I don't even remember how we met or got to be best friends, not even a little bit. I don't think we were friends in middle school (yes, we had both a middle school and a junior high - they were connected but separated). I moved to that school halfway through 6th grade - from an elementary school - and I don't remember much of anything except surviving the rest of that year - and that there was this girl who dyed her hair green for St. Patrick's Day with either Kool-Aid or Jello, which was right before we moved in, and so her hair was fading shades of green for the whole rest of the year.
Anyway, we were bestest-estest friends. Which probably freaked my mom right out because, although she was really not "bad" on the inside, she really liked to look scary. She was a big fan of vampires and was 5'10" (in 8th and 9th grade!! - actually, both of my bestest friends were 5'10" to my 5'3" - we would walk down the halls with me in the middle and they would tease that they couldn't see me -hahaha hmm). We wore a lot of black and black nail polish and stuff like that. Oooh, we were scary.
Then during the summer after 9th grade, my parents were working with the community theatre's summer musical and I decided I wanted to be in it. (probably I thought there would be cute boys there who could sing - it may even have been that I knew a specific boy was going to be there, but I don't really remember) So I was in the chorus and rehearsing that at night and still hanging out with my friend during the day, including riding my bike 5 miles each way to her house (by myself down backroads - I don't know if I'd do that today, even if I was in shape). And then my mom's best friend needed help with a children's show during the day and I think she volunteered me. Which turned out fine with me, there was a super cute guy there and a bunch of other kids from the summer musical were there and we all got to be good friends (including the guy - who wound up later being my first husband and my first kiss - in that order, neither official, which is a story way too long for this post). But I had a lot less time to hang out with my bestest friend. And I was kind of making new bestest friends.
I think that I even missed her birthday that summer. Which is bad, I know, but her birthday was the same weekend as the performances for the musical.
When school started back in the fall and we were in high school and everything was crazy, we kind of tried to keep hanging out - but then there was the fall musical and that was the end. I was firmly in the drama crowd and she was so not and I think we might have had a fight about it, but most likely not because that's kind of my way apparently. You know, nonconfrontational. We never even had a class together after that, but I heard through the grapevine that she hated me - which brings me finally to the point that I was super surprised that she wanted to be my friend on Facebook.
But then, our interaction so far has been for her to say hey, how's it going? - Fine, how about you? - Eh, fine. Did you hear about that guy you had a crush on all through junior high? (he's now a gay porn model, I kid you not. Still smokin' hot though. I'd link ya, but ya know, I'm not going to facilitate your porn habit.) - Yep, I saw that. - Okay, well, have a good night.
And that was it. Anticlimatic, but eh, what else is new?
And I was totally going to do my assigned letter from btb's, but I saw that I had a draft in edit and decided to finish it instead. So, when I say "tonight" above, I really mean 3-4 weeks ago probably?? I'll get to the P post later today or tomorrow. Right now, I have to P (and clean the house for home teachers tonight, bake cookies, do homework, and work).
ETA - I mean tonight means February 21st. Which is my sister's birthday and much more than 3-4 weeks ago. Oops.
Friday, March 6, 2009
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Happy, happy, joy, joy. My mom is coming to visit on Saturday. Coming to rescue me and hang out and cheer me up. I've been just a little overwhelmed (yes, that means a lot overwhelmed) lately with kids and house and school and work and Primary. Hub offered to hire someone to help with the house and I freaked out a bit. I'm not a big fan of someone I don't know coming in to my house to clean. Though that'd be better than someone I do know like VT's or someone I'd have to see all the time knowing my deep dark messy house secret. It freaks me right out and I'd have to do that pre-clean thing and then what's the point?? So the thought of this made me say, "I want my mommy." Out loud even. Generally, I'm okay with living a bazillion miles from Mom. It sucks, but it is what is - except when I'm overwhelmed (or really, really sick) and then I want my mommy. Usually, I just have to suck it up and deal with it cuz she does live about a bazillion miles away, but this time the stars aligned and hub called her and between the two of them, they made it happen. She even got a great deal on the flight down here on a last-minute SW airlines getaway type deal. She only booked the one-way and we'll book the trip home after she gets here and we decide when she's going home. I think we might wait to make that decision until after Sam's appointment on Thursday (next, not tomorrow).
Thursday, February 26, 2009
The story about the airman, Jay Hess is taken from the "Finding Joy in the Journey" talk by Pres. Monson (refer to Day One). Read the story below. In 25 words or less, write what you would say to your family if you weren't sure you would see them again.
[Pres. Monson shares, "In the 1960s, during the Vietnam War, Church member Jay Hess, an airman, was shot down over North Vietnam. For two years his family had no idea whether he was dead or alive. His captors in Hanoi eventually allowed him to write home but limited his message to less than 25 words. What would you and I say to our families if we were in the same situation—not having seen them for over two years and not knowing if we would ever see them again? Wanting to provide something his family could recognize as having come from him and also wanting to give them valuable counsel, Brother Hess wrote—and I quote: “These things are important: temple marriage, mission, college. Press on, set goals, write history, take pictures twice a year.”"]
(Implied Dear Family:)
I love you mostest times infinity. Please make choices that will enable us to be together forever some day. Or I will haunt your dreams.
(Implied Love, EF)
1. They'd know right away it was really from me.
2. It makes the point I want to make.
3. I want them to smile (or even laugh) when they think of me and stop being so darn sad. After all, we're going to be together forever some day.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Will I go to he@k if my kids are watching Men in Tights? Not that they are, but if they were?
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Flat hair is so last year? Oh no, what am I going to do? I just barely got a straightener.
Please, please, please tell me that this is one case where they are the ones out of touch and not me. Or at least tell me that this ad only runs in Texas, where big hair really, really didn't go out of style. Please tell me that women don't really want a big bump on the back of their heads. Why would anyone want that? Cone head is sexy.
Oooh, they have a mini Bumpit. I remember the tragic old days when you had to get that look the old fashioned way with layers of ozone-killing aerosol spray.
I wonder if I can get just the big Bumpit. Cuz I need a REALLY BIG thing on top of my head. Gag a maggot. Cone head is sexy.
Hey look, they also own the domain names http://www.bighappyhair.com/ AND http://www.bighappiehair.com/. BIG HAPPIE HAIR.
BIG HAPPIE BALD.
BIG HAPPIE HAIR!
Cone head is sexy.
Monday, February 23, 2009
1. SE in general
2. The Queen
3. The Vatican
4. The Getty
5. The Rothchild
6. The Colonel (each in general)
7. the blanket I sleep with every night. no, really - it's cozy.
8. my minivan.
9. the backup minivan.
10. easy plumbing fixes (what I get to do tomorrow, but could have been worse and required a plumber)
11. the yard where the kids were able to play outside all afternoon
12. the sunshiney day today
13. SE's job
14. my job
15. my kids' teachers
16. the PE teacher at the younger kids' school (she looks out for them)
18. bug spray
20. my parents in general
21. growing up somewhere besides here ;-)
22. my sister
23. the other one too
24. brother #1
25. and #2
26. and #3
27. and their respective spouses as applicable
28. my sister-in-law
29. and another one
30. and brother-in-law
31. and a spouse or 2
32. and their parents
35. online college courses
36. and the schools who offer them
40. emergency rooms
42. bologna sandwiches
43. Sesame Street
44. the mail ladies
45. and the FedEx and UPS guys too - I LOVE getting packages.
46. diet Coke (is it wrong to list diet Coke on a list based on a talk by the prophet??)
48. dishwashers, particularly mine
50. men who sing music
51. by which, of course, I mean that man who sings music to me
53. my favorite sweatshirt, which will be 16 years old later this year
54. being able to come back to the list tomorrow to finish
55. going to bed now, even though I'm not done with today's task
more later - 44 more to be precise.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Monday, February 16, 2009
Fetch in a handbasket, I just realized that I have an essay due by midnight. Fortunately, it's about 2/3 done, but um, I'm supposed to be working right now. Ack.
Friday, February 13, 2009
Yesterday I had to write a letter to my congressperson for Government 2302 (I picked KBH and wrote her about supporting #s-374). I guess I'm still in the mood.
Speaking of the mood, I'm not in the mood for tomorrow. I usually go all out with the monkeys, so they are all looking forward to it. I gotta snap out of it. I have a date tonight, so maybe that will help.
Speaking of my date tonight, he had his (insert technical term for end of the year) evaluation this week and rocked it. Conditional contract signed for next year (he still has to finish the stuff for certification, but can't do all of it until the school year/his internship is done). Woot said that he would have made it a multi-year if he could and will next year. Phew. I wasn't worried that he wouldn't do well on his eval - he really is a frickin' awesome teacher - but ya know, budgets and all. I'll say it again, phew.
Wish I rocked that hard at my job. Oh, right, that's why I'm in school so I can do a different job. Patience......
Did I mention that SPY's appointment with his kickA cardiologist is March 12? I don't really know if his cardiologist is kickA, but positive reinforcement, right?
I think I've procrastinated enough for this morning. Finished most of my homework/tests last night but still have 2 discussion posts and a reading assignment to finish today - and work - and get the house babysitter-ready.
DATE TONIGHT. Yeehaw.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Not that it was the first time that he's told me that he farted. He's been identifying burps and farts for months now.
But it was the first time that he decided that farting was so important that he had to come across the house to tell me about it.
Yes, baby (big boy!), you do.
Friday, February 6, 2009
Me: No boo.
SPY: Eeh boo? Eeh boo?
Me: No boo.
SPY: Hay you, mommy. Hay you.
SPY: Please may I nurse?
Me: You know we're trying to quit.
SPY: Please? PLEASE??
Me: No, really this time.
SPY: I hate you, mommy. Hate you.
Nice, eh? Someone's older sister has taken to that phrase when she's not getting her way. Yay for mimicking toddlers!!
Frickity, frick, frick, frick.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
In the meantime, I have news. I called on SPY's echo yesterday and the PA's nurse called me back today.
To tell me that the results are back.
BUT the PA is out of the office on Thursdays. Guess I shouldn't have called on Thursday. Oh, wait...I DIDN'T.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
This actually made the news down here in Texas tonight. Wow.
Check out this link too for more pictures.
ARGH. I don't know where the video went, it was there a minute ago. Well, follow the link and find the how it was made link.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na Bat Banana.
(Yes, I counted the na-na's. Triple Weirdo Score.)
Not my kid. But that is what the bat costumes look like and they do like to do that pose whilst wearing the bat costumes. See how snug and warm and toasty and CUTE it is - TIMES 2.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Patrick Dempsey as a vampire? Hello!!
Like I said, problem solved.
ETA: What I meant to say was picture SE as Edward and me as Bella. That is totally what I meant to say.
ETA again: Someone took it as his personal quest to convince me that PD was not THE choice and so here is his nomination. I have to say that I agree that he probably is a much better pick for the actual story, but a) it's too late, I already finished the book; and b) it only works for me if I go back to casting Alexis Bledel as Bella (yeah, sure, she's probably a better choice too). Anyway, SE's pick:
(Matt Dallas, aka Kyle XY)
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
I'm watching the Bachelor. I don't watch it every season, but okay, most of them. Unless the guy is ug. or Ugh. or bleh. So, I didn't watch seasons 1, 2, 3, 5, 6, 7, or 9. Hmm, I've actually watched less than half of the seasons. Maybe I'm not as lame as I thought I was. This season's Bachelor is my favorite since Bob. Though I was also quite fond of Travis. Those doctory, nice, sweet, preppy kind of guys, those are the kind of guys that make my heart flutter. Nice guy like that vs. Edward. Easy pick. (I made it to page 130 now. Edward is about to rescue her again (again!?!?) in Port Orchard this time, which we all know is a totally dangerous town.)
I also have been watching Momma's Boys and True Beauty and several other lame shows. Not watching, watching - but DVRing and letting it play while I work. I pretty much always have to have something playing on the TV while I work because it's cold, dark, and lonely working from 9pm to midnight. So I DVR and watch/listen to mindless reality TV while I work.
But the Bachelor I watch.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
The tech said he didn't find anything emergent, heard and saw and took pictures and measurements of the murmur, AND we won't hear anything official for probably at least a week (unless the tech missed something emergent) and possibly more like a couple of weeks because it has to be read by the specialist in Dallas, who is apparently a fairly busy pediatric cardiologist.
And he's pitching stuff off the table again, so that's all.
Monday, January 12, 2009
Sam's echo is tomorrow afternoon, just to update.
He's teething his last front tooth this week, so not letting him nap so that he can nap during the test should be delightful.
Tonight SE tortured Banana by saying a$$. She got very indignant and was literally crying as she said, "Jesus doesn't like it when you say bad words, Daddy." And I'm going straight to hell because I had to bury my head in my arms not to laugh. Okay, I mean I WAS laughing my head off, I had to bury it so that it wasn't so obvious that I was laughing my head off. It was just the combination of what she said and the way she said it. Then Em started in about how Daddy was friends with Satan (we just had Sharing Time in Primary on Sunday about the war in heaven, etc.) and he said, yep, we send text messages and play cards. Em ran with that and decided that Daddy and Satan play Tetris together on the Wii.
And that was our Family Home Evening tonight. Yay!
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Anyway, I've elected to share something about him for Weirdo Wednesday.
SPY is addicted to lotion. He asks for "Lo" every time I get some, any time he sees the bottle on the counter, and sometimes at random times in between. Usually he just rubs it in to his hands like he should, but this week he's also been putting it on his hair like his sisters did with Daddy's mousse on Sunday (speaking of Wolverine hair - maybe SPY as Edward?? Baby Twilight, how adorable would that be?). At least he smells delightful.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
I made it to about page 30 of Twilight over the weekend. I've re-cast the movie. So far, Bella will be played by Ellen Page or Alexis Bledel and Edward will be played by Marcel Vigneron from Season 2 of Top Chef, aka Wolverine Chef, who it turns out is from Bainbridge, so he won't mind the dreary rain. Of course, at page 30 Edward has only made 3 appearances: lunch, bio, and the office - so that casting is subject to change. I picked Marcel because he is easier for me to picture than whatever that other guy's name is that really got the job. Also, he has that weird look AND he's funny. Because I see the movie posters/trailers and it makes me want to read the book less, because dark and dangerous guys are kind of a big turn-off for me. Seriously, no hotness factor there. Now, if Edward were preppy....... re-cast: Mark Paul Gosselaar as Edward. C'mon, let's set it at Bayside!! I've lived in the gray, it's super depressing, and moving during high school sucks but you might meet your soulmate, I get that part, but if Bella is going to fall for the dark and dangerous guy (and I'm thinking she might), she loses me there.
Oh well. I'm still hoping to be pleasantly surprised (not really, I know how the last book ends).
Thursday, January 1, 2009
There were some kick-awesome things that happened in 2008 (trips to NY, WA, and UT and SE's new job), but as a whole, I personally spent most of the year just sucking up a storm at a bunch of stuff.
This year promises great things - weaning Mr. Crankypants. Actually, I can't really think of anything else this minute. Spring Break is something I'm looking forward to - we're trying to decide where to go, something cheap and family oriented, an experience rather than a destination, if that makes any sense. More progress on school. SE's first summer off (which, if it goes like Winter Break, promises to be AWESOME in all capitals - seriously, he was a cleaning machine. I helped some, but still had the usual distractions and then some (3!! big holiday meals with guests!!) and he just cranked it out.)
Oh yeah, another goal is to read Twilight, not because I want to, but because I promised SE that I would at least give it a chance and read the first book. Which was easy to promise before he cleaned up the office and found the book. Crap. Now it's sitting literally inches from me and has been for days and I just can't make myself open it yet. I DON'T WANNA!!!
And finally, get working on the weight. I have a new goal - once my favorite T-shirt fits
(for the first time, it was too small when I bought it), then I'm done. Really, it will probably be the same size I was post-Jbot (when I GASP! fit back into my wedding dress) and right at what my goal weight should be. But I just really want to be able to wear my shirt!