A Little Visitor

Summer+ime

and +he living is easi. Unless u're +rieing +o +ipe on mi poor lap+op. +ee, whi, +ab, lef+ shif+, page down, and backspace; all missing or nonfunc+ional.

o+her +han +ha+, +he girls have been going +o +hea+re camps, we've been hi++ing up +he librari, and jus+ chillin' ou+ awai from +he ho+ sun. And ge++ing readi for our grea+ +rek nor+hwes+ward in a li++le less +han a mon+h. 18 dais of driving, hanging ou+ wi+h famili, more driving, hanging ou+ wi+h friends and famili, Pioneer Dai in SLC or Logan, more famili in Logan, +hen home again, home again, jiggi+i jig via Carlsbad Caverns (from hubbi's bucke+ lis+, if he had one).

+he smalle+ one is asking me how do I spell "boi +oi" which he apparen+li learned from +oi S+ori?

+iping +his is wai more annoi-ing +han fun.

In the interim

Things that have gone on since December:
*not much.
*school is going fine and it's almost done for this semester. Two more tests, two more assignments and maybe 2 more at home tests that are really more like quizzes but the teacher in that class is so far behind that I doubt she'll get both ready and posted before the end of the semester.
*we've been making plans to visit family far and wide this summer, but I said it out loud and jinxed it, so that's probably not really going to happen. Really.
*my sister found out that she's having another boy and my sister-in-law found out that she's having another girl. How convenient for both of them, though I doubt that my sister has much left from the last one since he's almost 8-1/2.
*my youngest/last baby is potty-trained. It happened in a day and not because I wanted it to. I wasn't ready, but he wouldn't leave his diaper on anymore so I said, fine then. I think this is probably the last of my gifts-from-God-because-you-had-this-kid-even-though-you-were-so-totally-done-at-4-kids because mostly being potty-trained just means that he runs around naked anytime he can get away with it and at least I don't have to worry too much about him making messes while he's doing it, but I do have to worry that he's going to just whip out his junk wherever we might be. Today he was jumping on the trampoline and had to go, so he dropped them and peed through one of the holes in the mat. His sister says he made it straight through the hole without getting any on the mat, which is great for his aim - not that it matters since he's too short to reach standing up yet - but isn't exactly what I was concerned about. I guess the bright spot is that he night trained the same time, which is a great big miracle. Seriously.
*my oldest is starring in her first play. It opens tonight. I'm not there because I have to work AND we couldn't afford a babysitter this week so I might as well work. I'm going tomorrow night and Daddy is getting her the appropriate opening night flowers tonight.
*My inlaws are moving to Logan, Utah. Kind of ironic (at least in the Alanis way and I don't care enough to figure out if it's true irony) since we moved here from Logan to be near them. Ha.
*That middle one over there is turning 8 in May so we will have parties and baptism and a visit from my parents.
*I'm spring cleaning in preparation for the above which includes Kilzing and painting my cabinets. I'm debating between using the color I bought back in December and heading out to the Lowe's to find the color I really want.
*I am, in general, feeling much better lately - less tired, less stressed out, less blah. This probably means that something is about to hit the fan. See, I'm still pessimistic at least.
*I am also, in general, having a lot of dejavu. Someone once told me that this means that something big is going to happen in your life and though I know that I've had other periods heavy on dejavu, I can't remember if they preceded big events so that's no help at all. I've also been randomly remembering things, events, etc. from the fairly distant past (not childhood or anything crazy like that - those are still mostly gone except the ones from pictures), which is extremely weird since my mind has been a deep, dark hole on all that kind of stuff for a long time. Curiouser and curiouser.
*I just realized that I'm like 3 episodes behind on Project Runway and so that's what I'm going to do tonight - fold clothes, veg and watch a bunch of Project Runway. Awesome.
*We took family pictures on Easter and there are several pictures of the children that I don't hate, two that I love, and even one of ALL OF US that I kind of love too, which is pretty cool, 'specially since we were using a tripod.
*And that's all the news from here.

How I made another mom's day

I realized last night that I would have some free time after I dropped off several kids at rehearsal, so I made plans to head to WM to pick up the last of the supplies for Halloween. Em ended up not going to rehearsal because her throat was hurting a little, which should have canceled the trip, but since we were running low on Motrin and we were out of lemonade, I decided I'd better head on anyway. The remaining 3 kids were excited, as always, about going to the store, though J was particularly hyper and tired, which should have canceled the trip, but I figured he'd chill out once we got out of the confinement of the car. I pulled into a perfect parking spot - in the middle, right next to a cart return - and started getting the kids out of the car. The older 2 were waiting next to the car (hands touching the door per the rules) while I started unfastening SPY from his seat. I was working on the second buckle when Em grabbed J's hat and put it on. He started to chase her into the parking lot and I grabbed both of them by the shoulders. J melted into the kind of tantrum that FINALLY canceled the trip. I announced that there was nothing I needed tonight badly enough to deal with this crap (I didn't use the word crap, probably) and we were going home. All 3 kids started begging and making promises they didn't intend to keep. Well, they probably intended to keep them, but it was obvious to the trained eye that there was no way in blue Hades that they could have actually lasted more than 2 minutes (about the point when we walk past the crane games in the front of the store) before they lost it again and worse. Tantrums in the parking lot are great fun, but nothing is better than a full-blown overtired tantrum during rush hour in the middle of the entrance to one of 2 grocery stores in a town where everybody knows your name. So, I chucked them in the car, fastened their seatbelts myself, got in the driver's seat and locked the doors. I sat there ignoring the wailing and pleading for a good 5 minutes until they settled down and I was sure they weren't going to jettison themselves from the van. By the time we pulled out of the parking lot, they were relatively calm again.
Except that there was something that I needed - the lemonade for Em's sore throat. So, as I drove through town debating the problem, McD's came into view. Woohoo, I was saved!! I could drive through and get lemonade without leaving the van!!
Now, obviously by this point I was delusional and not in my right mind. Just driving by a McD's without stopping would have generated more gnashing of teeth, but to actually get into the drivethrough line and wait to order something that was NOT a Happy Meal... Yep, it set J off into one of the most energetic, voluminous, imaginative tantrums he's ever thrown. Thrown is an appropriate description too. He wailed, he flung his body around in his booster seat, tears flowed. Out of habit, I rolled down the window as I came around the curve to the order speaker, but there was another minivan already there. I quickly rolled up the window, but we still heard her ordering her Happy Meals (2 boys and a girl). I could tell that she heard the commotion, because she paused and looked back for a second mid-order. She finished and pulled forward and I was forced to roll down the window to place my order for a single large lemonade. J hit the peak of his fit as I pulled forward when he realized I really wasn't ordering any Happy Meals. I met her glance in her side mirror and just smiled and she smiled knowingly back. Now, I've been the other mom before, so I know what she was thinking. Her kids probably got extra hugs last night thanks to J. J did too.

SPY is in his own kind of trouble today. SE decided to take his guitar to school with him today. It's been sitting in the living room on its stand for months. As he picked it up, it made a strange rattling noise. Not a little rattling noise. He emptied it out onto the floor.
The pile contained:
a pick
about 5 Q-tips
2 rocks - one small, one I'm not sure how SPY got it in past the strings
1 seashell
about 25 Cheerios
8 crayons (a whole pack)
a comb - the kind with the long tail
a sock
3 pencils
a 5x7 piece of notebook paper
2 animal crackers
and a proof of insurance card.
ETA after I finished picking junk up off the floor:
An Article of Faith pass along card
a scrap of orange construction paper
a used band-aid
and the tie end of a popped balloon.
I'm kind of surprised that it rattled at all when he shook it.

This week

We will celebrate this day 13 years ago:By shopping for a new car to replace this:

I didn't even cry until today when he went to leave for work. I thought that I was going to be driving him to work, because of the painkillers and all, but he decided he could make it to work, take one there, and it would wear off by the time he was ready to go home.

ETA: I should probably have led with he's fine, but sore, and everyone else involved is fine.

A dream from which I did not want to wake

I dreamed that we were living on a street like 1600 East in Spanish Fork (in Utah) with houses all in a row and sidewalks, which is the street I lived on during junior high and most of high school. My BFF from lived at the opposite end and across the street. In my dream, we lived about 2 houses in from the middle road (Utah grid system, would be about 550 South I guess - stalk it if you want, none of us live there anymore) and in the dream my BFF from high school lived in what would be the house next to her mom's and then her mom still lived in her house and her cousin lived across the street.

Some of the houses were the same or similar to the real street:















The house where her cousin lived looked literally just like this. I don't know the address of this house and it's been 20 years almost, but given the placement of the mountain behind, this could be the very house, or the next street over. I think. My house and my friend's house also looked just like this (except hers was floor-plan flipped) - for reals and in the dream. This one is for sale; I should buy it. I love these houses. Does that look like a 6 bedroom house? But it is.
Basements, I love them.



but some were a totally different style, kind of like my grandma's house:















This isn't my grandma's house, but it is probably 2 houses down the street from her house (also for sale and surprisingly in the same price range as the above house - um, surprising because this house is in Washington state, home of sky high real estate). I'm not buying this house. Love my grandparents, but they don't even want to live in this neighborhood anymore. Plus, this house does NOT have 6 bedrooms (it does have 4 - attic!!, but if it is really like my grandparents', then the bedrooms are tiny).

Anyway, I walked down to my friend's house that night to watch her kids for a bit while she went across the street to her cousin's house to see her new baby (a boy - it was her first). My friend's husband got home before she left and took over the kid duty and so I went over with her. Her mom was over there already. We helped clean up her kitchen while mom held the baby, then we all kind of crashed in the living room and I got to hold the baby while her cousin slept and I think my friend went home to take care of the kids and her mom stayed on the couch and we talked/dozed. I remember telling her cousin that she could call me any time, even in the middle of the night, to come help with the baby, etc. The baby was so cute and sweet.

So, this dream apparently manifests both my desires to live on a street with sidewalks (desperate desire) and to hold babies. My life is completely devoid of babies right now. I don't want my own (REALLY), but I would like to be near some. This is probably brought on by the birth of my niece almost a week ago and several friends posting new baby pictures this week.

Hey, if we did buy the house by grandma's, I could hold my niece at least. On the other hand, I hear there are babies here and there in Utah too.

(ETA: While I was editing this, the price of the first house dropped $19,000. I couldn't find it when I went back to look at it again.)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SPY!!

June 2007May 2008May 2009 My last 2-year-old...

P!!

Now that I can be reasonably sure that I'm the last to complete my assigned letter from bythelbs, here it is - Ten things I love like that Start with the Letter P.

1. Photos.

For instance, this one:
Ohm. Can you see it? Four are trying to meditate and one just along for the ride.

2. Parallel parking. Yep, I missed it on my first driving test. But since then I have come to love it and love that I can do it - in pretty much any vehicle.

3. Pandora.

4. Penelope Marie. My favorite aunt. Not only is she awesome, she once saved me from doing something really, really dumb. At least once. Soooo very dumb.

5. Pantry. Look, I have one now.










6. Parties.
One of several many pictures we took to get a picture for Grandpa's 60th birthday party. Cooperative, they are not.

7.
8. Popsicles. Mmmmm, banana popsicles.


9. Pajama pants. I wear them pretty much every day that I don't have to go out of the house. I used to steal my husband's all the time, but he got pretty sick of that and recently bought me about a half dozen of my own in pretty girly prints. I've switched to wearing his t-shirts, hoping he'll start bringing me home girly t-shirts too. It used to work with soda too - when I was drinking the DC (I'm clean now, on the wagon, zzzzz, can't you tell?). If I ran out and start drinking his Mr. Pibb - not only did we know I was desperate, but DC would magically appear without me even having to drag the boys to the store. Alas, we are both now caffeine-free, so we'll have to use clothing to show our love. Or at least his love to me :-) I have other ways. No, not that. sheesh.

10. Penney's. I wouldn't call it cool or hip, but I definitely wouldn't call me cool or hip, so ya know. They had some sweet sales this weekend for Mother's Day and we did some shopping. I like that they tell me how much I save. We spent $110 and saved over $200. Rock on.

For good measure, some P's I do not like: Potty training, pee, philandering, paranoia, pagodas, pandemonium (although the word pandemonium is kind of yummy), Plankton, politics, partitions, pregnancy, Pitocin, and puppies. Phew!!

Really? Really?

I'm trying to work here and so I have the TV on, of course, (remember, it's cold and lonely working at night boohoo), and from over there I hear this. Wait for it.

Flat hair is so last year? Oh no, what am I going to do? I just barely got a straightener.

Please, please, please tell me that this is one case where they are the ones out of touch and not me. Or at least tell me that this ad only runs in Texas, where big hair really, really didn't go out of style. Please tell me that women don't really want a big bump on the back of their heads. Why would anyone want that? Cone head is sexy.

Oooh, they have a mini Bumpit. I remember the tragic old days when you had to get that look the old fashioned way with layers of ozone-killing aerosol spray.

I wonder if I can get just the big Bumpit. Cuz I need a REALLY BIG thing on top of my head. Gag a maggot. Cone head is sexy.

Hey look, they also own the domain names http://www.bighappyhair.com/ AND http://www.bighappiehair.com/. BIG HAPPIE HAIR.



BIG HAPPIE BALD.



BIG HAPPIE HAIR!
Cone head is sexy.

Weirdo Wednesday.

Phew.

QOD - Question of the Day

Driving back from the grocery store, this question occured to me:
Is a wussbag: a) a bag for carrying a wuss, b) a bag made of a wuss, or c) a bag attached to a wuss?

Fetch in a handbasket.

So I got all smart and decided to take the Blogger bar off the top up there. And now I have no idea how to get to my dashboard to make a new post without going through someone else's blog who didn't take the bar off. I'm a dork.

Sam's echo is tomorrow afternoon, just to update.

He's teething his last front tooth this week, so not letting him nap so that he can nap during the test should be delightful.

Tonight SE tortured Banana by saying a$$. She got very indignant and was literally crying as she said, "Jesus doesn't like it when you say bad words, Daddy." And I'm going straight to hell because I had to bury my head in my arms not to laugh. Okay, I mean I WAS laughing my head off, I had to bury it so that it wasn't so obvious that I was laughing my head off. It was just the combination of what she said and the way she said it. Then Em started in about how Daddy was friends with Satan (we just had Sharing Time in Primary on Sunday about the war in heaven, etc.) and he said, yep, we send text messages and play cards. Em ran with that and decided that Daddy and Satan play Tetris together on the Wii.

And that was our Family Home Evening tonight. Yay!

Bleh.

Mild stomach bug, writing the Primary program, assorted other Primary-related tasks, wanting to sleep instead of do anything.

I made it to about page 30 of Twilight over the weekend. I've re-cast the movie. So far, Bella will be played by Ellen Page or Alexis Bledel and Edward will be played by Marcel Vigneron from Season 2 of Top Chef, aka Wolverine Chef, who it turns out is from Bainbridge, so he won't mind the dreary rain. Of course, at page 30 Edward has only made 3 appearances: lunch, bio, and the office - so that casting is subject to change. I picked Marcel because he is easier for me to picture than whatever that other guy's name is that really got the job. Also, he has that weird look AND he's funny. Because I see the movie posters/trailers and it makes me want to read the book less, because dark and dangerous guys are kind of a big turn-off for me. Seriously, no hotness factor there. Now, if Edward were preppy....... re-cast: Mark Paul Gosselaar as Edward. C'mon, let's set it at Bayside!! I've lived in the gray, it's super depressing, and moving during high school sucks but you might meet your soulmate, I get that part, but if Bella is going to fall for the dark and dangerous guy (and I'm thinking she might), she loses me there.

Oh well. I'm still hoping to be pleasantly surprised (not really, I know how the last book ends).

I have nothing to say about this picture, except I made those skirts this week and E wanted to see them.

Weirdo Wednesday

Ladies and gentlemen, it is that time again for the first time. Everyone's favorite: Weirdo Wednesday. I started out to call it Confession Wednesday, but we all know that kind of thing is NOT allowed. Anyway, every Wednesday, I will confess something that you don't know about me that makes me weird, strange, lame, crazy, or just plain silly. Or, if I can't think of something about me, I'll either make something up or share something about someone else.

Today:

I DVR The Martha Stewart Show every day. It started out innocently enough - the TV was left on whatever channel it is she's on and when I turned it back on later, what I thought was her promo for shows that week was on and there was PATRICK DEMPSEY, right there on TMSS.

Gratuitous PATRICK DEMPSEYage:


You're welcome.

Anyway, I thought they were sayIng that PATRICK DEMPSEY was going to be on some time that week, so I set the DVR to record. And then she sucked me in with her cute little crafts and all those recipes and stuff I'll never make, but apparently that doesn't stop me from watching.

Sometimes I fast-forward through most of the show, but sometimes I watch the whole darn thing. She's such a Bi$ch. Seriously stuck up and snobby and patronizing to her guests (like Kristen Chenoweth this week, dude!! oh and Seal's wife, what's her name again?) And every segment includes pimping of her new crafty products, several of which I MUST HAVE NOW. And so often it looks like she's just been handed the craft and doesn't have a clue what or why she's doing it and SHE even thinks it's lame.

AND PATRICK DEMPSEY has not been on the show one time. I don't think she's even mentioned him, not even when Kate Walsh was there.

Anyway, that's the lameness for today.

ETA: I googled it. PATRICK DEMPSEY was on TMSS a YEAR ago, not quite a year ago from when I started taping. The good news is that MS has the clips available online at her website. I haven't watched it yet, but it appears that he makes a very manly craft on the show.

Celebrating the end of the semester with a whatchamacallit

I smelled Chuck Norris because I'm cool like that.

You play too:

Pick the month you were born:
January-------I kicked
February------I loved
March--------I karate chopped
April----------I licked
May----------I jumped on
June----------I smelled
July-----------I did the Macarena with
August--------I had lunch with
September----I danced with
October-------I sang to
November-----I yelled at
December-----I ran over

Pick the day (number) you were born on:
1-------a birdbath
2----- --a monster
3-------a phone
4-------a fork
5-------a snowman
6-------a gangster
7-------my mobile phone
8-------my dog
9-------my best friends' boyfriend
10-------my neighbor
11-------my science teacher
12-------a banana
13-------a fireman
14-------a stuffed animal
15-------a goat
16-------a pickle
17-------your mom
18-------a spoon
19------ - a smurf
20-------a baseball bat
21-------a ninja
22-------Chuck Norris
23-------a noodle
24-------a squirrel
25-------a football player
26-------my sister
27-------my brother
28-------an iPod
29-------a surfer
30-------a homeless guy
31-------a llama

Pick the color of shirt you are wearing:
White----because I'm cool like that.
Black-----because that's how I roll.
Pink-----because I'm NOT crazy.
Red------because the voices told me to.
Blue-----because I'm sexy and I do what I want.
Green----because I think I need some serious help.
Purple----because I'm AWESOME!
Gray-----because Big Bird said to and he's my leader.
Yellow---because someone offered me 1,000,000 dollars.
Orange---because my family thinks I'm stupid anyway.
Brown----because I can.
Other-----because I'm a Ninja!
None------because I can't control myself!

I bet whoever made this one up was born on the 22nd too. If I owned a gray shirt a) I'd spell it grey, and b) i'd change in to it. I'm lying - I do have a grey shirt, but it's in the laundry, so I'm not changing in to it. Everything is in the laundry, mostly the laundry on my floor.

Note: An even better way to celebrate the end of the semester would be with a real Whatchamacallit, but I don't have one of those either. Really this time, I mean it.

Dear Windows Media Player:

I hate your stinking guts. You make me vomit. You are the scum between my toes.

Love,
EF.

PS: I'm leaving you for iTunes. iTunes doesn't think that every CD in my Music Apprec. set is the same da%#$mn CD and overwrite the data I corrected every time I put a new one in. iTunes knew what CD I was putting in without having to tell it. Skew you, Cowboy.

The Feast

Preparations are under way for the big giant feast. We're staying home this year, quiet. Some of our kids are quite picky, so we've adjusted the feast to our family and it is gradually becoming "traditional" - our tradition.

On the menu this year:

Turkey - brined, of course - veggie stock is on the stove right now
Ham
Mashed potatoes - instant - we have some that are fantastic and I will add stuff to them to make them special - a cheat that is so worth it to me
Stuffing - hoping to still find some Pepperidge Farms cubes, but we might be stuck with Stove Top this year
Turkey gravy - from packets, but I will add stuff to it.
Velveeta Shells and Cheese - the food of choice among the picky for any celebration
Veggie tray - celery, maybe carrots, olives, and pickles
Fruit salad - this is the first year I am skipping my family's traditional fruit salad with whipped topping. Instead, we will have Banana's request of grapes and apples.
Rolls - I bought some, but might make some too.
Mashed sweet potatoes (maybe)
Sparkling apple juice

(I think there is something else, but I can't remember what)

Desserts:
Pumpkin pie(s)
Chocolate pie (another Banana request)
Ice cream sundaes

I'm working really hard to give up on insisting on making stuff the real way in favor of making stuff a little more foolproof/simple/easy because in the past when I've dinner on my own, I screw something up (usually the timing of getting everything done), I get a little snippy, dinner is LATE, everyone is cranky, and I get upset because 80% of the family doesn't like 90% of the meal that I just slaved all day over. Which, added on top of the fact that Thanksgiving is the day I miss my extended family the most, makes for miserableness for everyone. If this year doesn't go better, I'm going to ditch everything but the Shells and Cheese and the ice cream sundaes and live happily ever after anyway.

**weird and random happening yesterday**

I was at the girls' rehearsal last night, helping with some costumes. One of the moms was talking about how she had lived in WA state for 5 years and could not find decent Mexican food anywhere. Another mom said that she was raised in WA and I said Me too! Later, she asked me where I was from and I said Tacoma area (default answer to a city people might actually know) and she said I lived in *Name of tiny town EF's parents live in.* Jaw drop to the floor. *Name of tiny town EF's parents live in* really is a tiny town - about 2300 people. Amazing that we'd both end up in *Name of not quite as tiny, but still small, town* TX with kids in the same show. She graduated 10 years before I did and I only lived there my senior year, so we didn't know any of the same people off the top's of our heads, just places mostly. She graduated the last year in the old high school, which was long gone and made new by the time I got there. Huh.

Best Outfit Ever

I hope that you can picture it. I wanted to whip out my camera phone, but a) I'd have to be so close that discretion wouldn't be possible, and b) I was a little afraid of him.

Starting from the top:
Baseball cap
Long black trenchcoat
Black t-shirt (I think)
Pajama pants with orange and red flames
Flip-flops

He was standing by himself in Walmart with his arms in front of him, hands clasped, like a body guard, just looking around - apparently guarding the bakery cookies. He stood there for probably 10 minutes, moved to the donut racks for a bit, and then disappeared.

Is it wrong?

I LOVE the music from the Barbie movies. In particular, Princess and the Pauper, but the girls are watching the newest one, Island Princess, and it has the same kind of really beautiful harmonies and duets. I almost feel guilty about liking them so much though.

Speaking of harmonies, we're supposed to sing tomorrow in church. Not sure how that is going to work - my already puny voice is half gone from a stupid cold.